karmachoden

The culprit of many issues

We are always talking of juvenile delinquencies when it comes to gang fights, vandalisms, hooliganisms, and anything related to vulgarism and brutalism. It is not shocking when even some 74 year old and 44 year old were involved in a stabbing case this week. Most often it is the adults who visit the bars, Karaoke’s and discotheques in the capital s and it is no doubt many of the broken railings on the express way can be attributed to them as well.

Whether it is the young or the old, the culprit behind the misdemeanors happens to be the alcohol. Most of the accidents are related to drunk driving. Most of the fights occur under the influence of alcohol. Many of the dysfunctional family take place under the influence of alcohol. Many abuse cases at home are executed under the influence of alcohol.

For almost every single person there is a bar in the city. There is no dearth of alcohol too. There are varieties ranging from cheap local production to expensive imported ones. It is up to the individual to choose depending on their pocket.  So what has not been achieved by alcohol? Yet it has not received the same importance as that of smoking cigarette or chewing tobacco.

As far as I am concerned I haven’t heard of a single case where a person has been found smoking and created nuisance to the society. Yet it has received much honour in recent times. Put many people behind the bars for mere possession of few packets of chewing tobacco.  It almost brought down group of people on the street to protest against those who put in the act.

The effect of alcohol on health is also double the effect created by smoking. We hear more cases of liver cirrhosis than bronchitis. We hear more of alcohol psychosis than a mental problem brought on by smoking or eating tobacco. Yet alcohol is doing its round freely at the joy of the people. Not realizing that this joy comes to end very badly leaving marks forever to both the consumer without limitation and to those affected.

The so called empathy and compassion fly out of the window when the alcohol sets in the body of the beholder. The person becomes the slave to the demonic effect of the alcohol. That is the time when no fear creeps in and it is the time when a do or die situation appears before the person. That is why every erroneous action takes place when one is under the influence of alcohol.

So isn’t it time to see the cause of the action rather than the result brought about by such action? The creator of disharmony in the society and culprit of many problems that we see and hear on a daily basis is the alcohol. So how are we going to ensure that it gets the same, in fact much needed attention like that of the tobacco act?

 

Letter to a Friend

Here is a letter I wrote to a friend who once asked me tips on how to love a person in better ways:

 

Dear Friend,

 Since you asked me to write to you about being able to love a person better, I will try to give you some tips so that you would be in a better position to love the right woman when she enters your life. Actually love is something when you feel it, it should come naturally. When you don’t feel it no matter how much you force yourself to show it will never come.

 Love is to be felt from within and then shown without. It is something that our heart feels and our mind directs it outside. As far as possible if you love a person you should often say it to make the other person feel assured in the relationship. Our human nature is such that we need constant reminders and affection.

 Here are some tips that you can follow:

1. Generally most women have the needs to feel wanted, desired, needed, loved and understood. You should make her feel that she is one person that you desire and want. You should make her feel that you need her more than any body in this world. And most of all she needs to feel that she is loved beyond any measures and that her needs are understood.
2. Women by nature are very fragile when it comes to love. She needs constant physical intimacy to boost her emotional intimacy and needs. She loves to be cuddled, kissed and hugged very often. When a man displays these actions she will feel that she is cared by her man.
3. Most women are generally very romantic. A woman loves to have candle lit dinner with the man she loves. Going for a ride, eating out in the restaurant, drinking wine over a slow number and ultimately making love with the soft music playing at the background would really turn on your girl.
4. When a woman falls in love she makes her man the center of her life and she expects him to make her the center of his life too. Try to make her feel that she is the most important person in your life.
5. Insecurity is the worst feeling in a relationship. Never make your girl feel insecure by your actions. She will feel insecure when she feels that you ignore her. She will feel insecure when she feels that you give preference to your friends over her. She will feel insecure when she feels that you have other similar relationship besides her. Talk to her and make her understand that there is no one more important than her.
6. If you stay away from her for a long time make sure you keep in touch constantly just to keep the burning fire of passion going on. You be the first one to take the initiative to call her up so that she will feel that no matter where you are, she is thought of a lot.
7. Our friends mean a lot to us. They are the best thing that happens in our life besides our love life. But never make your girl feel that your friends are more important than her.
8. Say something always nice to her. Make her feel that she is the treasured one and she will give all that she can.
9. Big things really don’t matter to a girl. It is the small things that matters a lot for her. So try to buy her small gifts very often. Even if it is small pin that you buy for her it will matter a lot to her. After all it is the thoughts that count and not the things.
10. Remember to hold her hands when you walk together. She needs to feel that she is protected in your arms.
11. Send her a surprise card or drop in a few lines very often so that she is reminded constantly that you are there for her. It will not only boost up your relationship but it will make her believe in your love very strongly.
12. Don’t make your girl feel that she is neglected. When she falls in love she becomes emotionally dependent on you and you should provide her the necessary anchor for her. You should be the shoulder for her to lean on when needed.
13. When a woman goes through an emotional crisis she will usually attack the person she loves the most. Give her time to calm down and settle her emotions instead of equally fighting with her and making the situation worst for her. Remember that she will expect you to give your comfort and share her problems. So don’t attack her back and make her feel the worst.
14.  Never miss an opportunity to say ‘I love you’ to someone you really love because it’s not everyday that you find someone who has the magic to make you fall in love.
15. And remember that God doesn’t play dice with the universe. Everything happens on purpose. When you fall in love with someone, it is not an accident. He wanted you get the best and feel the best. Therefore, hold on to your love, give the best that you can and you will receive the best.
16. And don’t worry about not knowing how to love. It really doesn’t matter who you love or how you love but that you love is the most important thing. After all it is always better to have loved and being loved than never loved at all.
17. And lastly just a food for your thought. “A real man does not need to romance a different girl every night. A real man romances the same girl for the rest of her life”
18. You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

Dear Friend, you don’t need all these to uncover your feelings but I am hoping that the lines will at least open your eyes and look beyond the preconceived notion of your mind. And I am hopeful that one day you will definitely come across the right person in your life who has that magic to make you fall in love. Put these thoughts into practice and I guarantee that you and your girl will have a much better relationship.

 

With love

 

Karma

A Road to Better Life

Live and let live, Love and be loved

Give and receive, Smile for a smile

Laugh and find yourself happy

Dream but don’t be too ambitious

Make mistakes but learn from it

Don’t be afraid to commit

But do so when ready

Have the courage to face the downs

There is a silver lining in every cloud

Take s dose of music, medicine for soul

Sleep less, work more

Give more, take less

Live each day at a time

Talk slowly, think quickly

Use your head and heart

To know yourself and others

It’s ok to fail after trying

Worse never to have tried at all

Have a positive attitude all the time

Eyesight is not harmed looking at

The brighter side of things

A warm hug, a soft kiss

Cost nothing but salve heartache

Don’t expect anything from others

It disappoints, leaves unhappy

Love is a gift: say ‘I love you’

Often to those you care for

When you fall down, don’t stay down

Get up and attempt with a smile

Always smile as it makes others happy

And keeps your worries at bay

Laugh at yourself rather than  at others

no medicine matches humour in pains

Remember that the sun is always there

just hidden on a cloudy day

watch out for opportunity

knocking on your door

It comes disguised as hard work

 

The other side of the New Year

The eve of New Year is a time to wish for an occasion that heralds peace, harmony, loads of happiness and success. Friends and families make it a point to get together, to celebrate the occasion and welcome the New Year with hopes and aspirations. People put up parties to mark the New Year in every nook and corner of the country. In a place like Thimphu there is no dearth of such places. We have discotheques every here and there. People don’t care who comes in and goes. That is why we hear of a 17 year old boy who got stabbed in his eyes because of which he now lost his eye sight. Is that a way to welcomes one’s New Year. We all know that it is time for celebration but is it right to let youngsters get drunk and hit each other.

There are many people responsible here. The youth may not have realized his actions until he found himself in the hospital with the lost eye sight. The ones who hit him may not have realized that evening when they were under the influence of alcohol or whatever substance they abused. I have a queer feeling that they must be repenting now but they find that they have now no ways to redeem their actions.

But the parents should have known better to have let their children out at odd hour. The bar owners or the discotheque operators should have known that underage children have no entry into their area. There are many others who are responsible but now what is the point of repenting when everything is done.

The sight at the express way is a sore to the eye. Broken railings and electric poles at every few distance, splinters of glasses on the road, broken culverts, remains of the vehicles and so on. In just one evening a lot of damages have been done. The road to Kuenselphodrang and Sangaygang popularly known as Buddha point and BBS point respectively is polluted with empty cans, broken beer bottles, wrappers and plastics.

Where has the civic sense disappeared? How do we inculcate the civic sense of driving, the civic sense of keeping your own trash, the civic sense of preserving the facilities given to us, and the most of all the civic sense of empathy and compassion to oneself and to others? As parents, how do we ensure that our children are not in the wrong company and that they are not into undesirable actions? Where do we draw the lines of when do they party and at what age?

If things are not going right with children isn’t it time to do some reflection of where we have gone wrong in our ways of up-bringing them? Let’s do our part well so that there is no room for regret. At the end of the day we all should remember that children are the greatest asset to us and most importantly youth of today should be brought up as the leaders of tomorrow not as the destructor to oneself and burden to the family and country.