karmachoden

Embracing Self-Love and Empathy: A Journey of Resilience and Compassion

On this glorious 1st of February 2023, I graced the magnificent Taj Mahal, the embodiment of love and one of the wonders of the world, in India. It was a journey of self-love and self-celebration as I marked the golden milestone of my fifty years on this wondrous planet. Today, as I turn fifty and 365 days young, I ponder on the significance of falling in love with myself once more.

For the past three years, I embraced a life of solitude, withdrawing from social media, family, and friends. In the depths of my being, I battled profound depression and severe anxiety, with thoughts of ending my own life haunting me relentlessly. Attempts to confide in loved ones only left me feeling misunderstood and judged, fueling my isolation. Medications such as sertraline, diazepam (Valium), and sleeping tablets became essential for my mental well-being.

Despite my disconnection from the world, I persisted in my work, masquerading behind a facade of happiness. I recall the words from a book that the person who laughs the loudest and smiles the biggest is often the saddest – that person was me three years ago. I waged a silent, solitary war, seeking solace in extensive travels between my professional commitments. A larger narrative on depression, anxiety, and mental health will follow in due course.

Today, as I celebrate my 51st birthday, I fervently urge myself to show kindness to my own being. I have done my bit for my  family, friends, relatives, siblings, and even strangers in need. I have made valuable contributions to both local and global communities. Having spent 18 productive years educating bright young minds of today, I have proudly served my country. My efforts have extended to assisting numerous NGOs and organizations in both Bhutan and Australia.

In essence, I’ve come to realize that for the last fifty one years, I’ve primarily lived my life for others. Why should I continue to burden myself with guilt for not doing enough? Like any regular person, I’ve made numerous mistakes, and I’ve found myself caught in a cycle of overthinking and, ultimately, depression as I dwell on these past errors. However, upon introspection and contemplation, I’ve come to recognize that my mistakes pale in comparison to the positive impact I’ve had on the world.

It’s crucial to acknowledge the journey that has brought me to where I am today. Recognizing the adversity I have faced and the resilience I have shown, I understand the importance of self-compassion. My experiences have shaped me into an empathetic and compassionate individual, and it’s high time I extend that empathy and compassion towards myself.

Taking this moment to reflect and celebrate, I am filled with gratitude for the opportunities that have allowed me to contribute meaningfully to the lives of others. As I turn the page to this new chapter of my life, I embrace the idea of living authentically, without the weight of past expectations and perceived failures. There is strength in vulnerability, and I find solace in knowing that the battles I’ve fought have paved the way for greater self-discovery and profound understanding.

Today, I’m sharing my story not to seek empathy or sympathy, but to shatter the stereotypes and stigma surrounding depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. I share my story to shed light on all the courageous souls silently battling, to let them know that I survived and so can you. My story aims to initiate open dialogues and foster conversations about mental health, breaking the silence and bringing about awareness.

It is imperative that we create a supportive environment where individuals feel free to share their experiences without fear of judgment. By doing so, we can dismantle the misconceptions and misunderstandings that often surround mental health. Through openness and understanding, we can offer solace and strength to those struggling, and strive to build a community where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.

I believe that each person’s journey with mental health is unique and deserves to be respected. Let us continue to stand together, embracing empathy and compassion, and encouraging one another to seek the help and support we need. Together, we can shift the narrative around mental health, replacing shame with acceptance, and isolation with connection. Remember, you are not alone, and your story has the power to inspire and uplift others.